thinking!!!!!! aughHh < - taking psychic damage

05 june 2022

i got an mp3 player recently!! which is great bc the headphone port on my phone broke (? i think?? something might be stuck in it) and i haven't got the courage to disassemble it and figure out what's wrong with it yet. i want to experiment with dissecting some of my old/broken phones to see what they look like inside before i mess around with my new one. i only got this one in december so i'm pretty annoyed i managed to break the headphone port already,, and idk how!! one day it worked and the next day the headphones would barely fit in and all the music played out loud. all my headphones work fine though, so it is unfortunately definitely an issue with the phone itself :/

anyway!! that's part of the reason i got an mp3, bc i need music to sleep sometimes and also in lots of other situations. but also i've been thinking about getting one for a while bc the music on my phone was just what i had downloaded on the bandcamp app, so i didn't have any music not from bandcamp on there. plus eveytime i listened to music on my phone it just became an excuse to mindlessly scroll through instagram or something. i've uploaded most of my music from my laptop to my mp3 player now, including the mechcommander pilot audios and soundtracks bc i like listening to my little guys saying their lines :)

most of the albums i bought off bandcamp are fine on my mp3 player, but the ones i downloaded off youtube or w/e always show up as artist unknown and album unknown on my mp3 player. even though i edited them on the computer (both in windows media player and the files themselves) to have the correct artists, albums, cover art, etc. when i sync them on to the mp3 player it just,, changes the artist and album to unknown. one of them didnt even keep it's cover art. i know it's not a big thing bc they're still sorted into the correct artist/album folders on the mp3, so i can find them there sorted correctly if i go into the folders section. but if i go into the artist or album section they just show as unknown lol. idkk it's literally such a minor thing but i want everything to be organised correctly everywhere aughhh.

if i wasn't so obsessed with perfectionism and organisation i think everything would be better for me to be honest.

tonight i kinda want to watch some battletech lore videos but idk,, the channel i found i good and there's seems to be a lot packed into each video which is nice, but unfortunately that does mean i have to pay extra attention to understand what's going on and i just feel so tired rn 💔 i've been trying to watch a battletech lore playlist in order, but maybe i should just skip to the videos i like the sound of to keep my attention and interest. i'm thinking about the comstar one,, idk much about comstar (and i'm only briefly familiar with the word of blake from the mechassault games) but the idea really intrigues me. i've only really skimmed the wiki pages for comstar before,, bc i wanted to make a comstar oc bc the wizard aesthetic captivates me, i love wizards.

i had less than 4 hours of sleep last night bc of the early summer sunrises and hotter nights. i need to drape some fabric over my shutters so the sun light stops getting in and waking me up. it would be tempting to keep the sunlight out of my room (i am photophobic), but unfortunately my cacti like the sunlight. last summer i spent 2 weeks living downstairs in the dark living room with 4 fans bc my room got unbearably hot, and i needed to keep it bright for my plants. we haven't gotten to the height of summer yet so i'm not at that point right now. i hope it isn't so hot this year, but it seems to get hotter and hotter every summer. 2012 was the first really hot summer i remember.

i'm worried about university next year bc the summer makes me so unwell from heat and no sleep, and it unfortunately coincides with exam season, and in high school i had to get sent home a lot for being unwell in the summer.

wait i forgot what i was going to write next, i was just scrolling tumblr in between writing this post and i saw a post about PC parts and now i really want to build my own PC, but i don't think i should start looking into that now i'm way too tired.

twitchcoded signing out, idk how to finish these sorry

also i put a red heart sticker on the back of my mp3 player :) hehe